- When I was young, I used to be, As fine a man as ever you'd see,
- 'til the Prince of Wales, he said to me, Come and join the British army.
- Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo, They're lookin' for monkeys up in the zoo,
- And since when have I had a face like you? I'd join the British army.
- Sarah Comden baked a cake, It's all for poor old Slattery's sake,
- She threw meself into the lake, Pretendin' I was balmy.
- Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo, I've made me mind up what to do,
- Now I'll work me ticket home to you, And *pfft* the British army.
- Sergeant Heeley went away, And his wife got in the family way,
- And the only words that she could say, Was blame the British army.
- Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo, Me curse upon the Labour blue,
- That took me darlin' boy from me, To join the British army.
- Corporal Sheen's a turn o' the 'bout, Just give him a couple o' jars o' stout,
- He'll bake the enemy with his mouth, And save the British army.
- Too-ra loo-ra loo-ra loo, I've made me mind up what to do,
- Now I'll work me ticket home to you, And *pluck* the British army.
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